We Cannot Grieve Without Truth
We were given a profound gift last night in our community meeting. After days of agony as we struggle to come to terms with the terrible loss of a friend, classmate, daughter, sister, lacrosse player and so much more - we were told the absolute truth of our communal loss from her beloved aunt (uncle and cousin also came as a show of support for this extraordinary moment) - our beautiful young woman suicided.
To hear these words directly from a family member was a powerful statement. To grieve, the truth must be spoken. To find a path through (never ever to move on, a path THROUGH), our hearts have to that starting point. We cannot grieve without truth. Nor can we in the days and weeks to come properly consider how we failed this young woman, without truth.
My deepest condolences and respect to the Virgile-Mayers family at this time. Your gesture to think of the rest of your community at such a time is one of the most radical love. We must work to honor that gesture now.
Last night I watched a program (Independent Lens) about the massacre at Sandy Hook Elementary. I considered not watching it, too. But I thought that I might learn something to help those that I help. So I watched.
The program chose to focus on those exquisite children (twenty of them) and their lives, also the six teachers/adults that were murdered. I felt filled with light looking at those darling jack-o-lanterny six and seven year old smiles, riding bikes, opening gifts, blowing out candles. I gave those children and their families one of the few gifts I can offer - my complete and undivided attention. It's so very little I have to give.
I realized this morning the other gift I have to offer those babies and their community - my promise to try as hard as I can to be the absolute best version of myself. The world needs each of us, now more than ever, to be our most perfect selves. If we commit to drill down more deeply into our own humanity, and mine it every single day, we might just have something.
Sairey Leone Luterman likes to explore the subjects of life and death through lots of creative and artistic means, but words are her medium of choice.